Emma :)
Member
Was suicidal last friday (2/20), went around my dorm trying to find friends to talk to. No one was home, ended up starting the process to rope, then called the therapy line.
People traced my location and sent EMS and police department to my dorm (like a full squad) and I told them I was suicidal. They then tell me that I'm getting PEC'd and that they had to bring me in, I run away instinctually and then I got tranquilized after they cornered me.
Wake up at hospital and get questioned about my life, don't even know what I said.
Then I wake up in a psych ward in Louisiana (I go to school here). People here have mania, schizophrenia, psychotic symptoms. I am frightened and have to avoid conflict frequently.
I get located to my room which is an all white box, I have 2 room mates called Brian and Jude (Brian has mania and is schizo - he runs around and often mistakes me for someone, Jude just hums on the ground but if you get near his area he tries to grab you.
8 hours a day I'm locked in this fuckass situation and I cry my eyes out, the coroner comes on my third day and asks about me.
I'm literally sleeping when he walks into my room, and later I was able to find my file where he noted that I was isolating myself? I tell him I am no longer suicidal, the meds are great! and I don't want to be here anymore, he notes that me saying I don't want to be here anymore = I don't want to live anymore, not that I want to leave this fuckass facility. So I end up getting CEC'd and they can contain me in this place for 15 days now.
I start trying to find a solution and get access to the phone, which is permitted to us once a day and everybody get's 10 minutes. But there is 30 people there so there are fights over the phone, huge fights.
Jerome is this big ass black dude who always gets the phone, he liked me for whatever reason so he gives it to me after he is done. I call my school and get in contact with my case manager and he tells me that he will try to get me released, (literally did not do a thing).
Now the shower room was like full prison, no dividers. Jerome literally slaps my fucking ass and tells me that I owe him one. I punch this guy in the face and run away to my room and he's pissed. This is day 3 still.
I don't leave my room for the next 2 day's and fast, nurse's are concerned about me but I just don't want to run into Jerome at all. Also Brian kind of acts as a safe guard since he's crazy and is manic, so he deters people away.
Day 5 I meet this dude called Darell who got in a severe 4 wheeler accident, he suffers from acute memory loss now and has this huge dent in his head. He's actually pretty chill and I convince him to larp about his life. I remember details about his life and just let him larp or convince him to over the next 5 hours. He eventually goes to bed but I lock in and remember the things he told me because there is nothing else to do.
I eventually see him after dinner and just start larping to him about his life, he's astonished and is hella tripped out about me. He freaks out for a bit then calms down and just accepts that his life is what it is now. I then stole a marker from the visitation center and wrote down on cross word paper cerebrolysin (cause I thought its neurogenesis properties would benefit him) and gave it to him. I also wrote my phone number down and he kept it in his shoe.
Day 7 I stop taking the meds they gave me (prozac, mirtazapine, trileptal, Haloperidol). Nurse tells me that they will keep me longer because I refused my medications, I also was visited by the treatment team this day with the doctor. I plea my sanity to them and give them collateralls (my friends phone numbers to call, my mom, therapist etc). They seem convinced but ask me why I stopped taking meds. I don't know what to say and the meeting is over.
Afterwards I am given an "herbal tea" specifically for me during meal time. The nurse told me that this was to help me be more calm since she was aware of the whole Jerome situation. I drank it and I'm pretty sure they dissolved all my medications in there.
For the next days I was locked in a "primary room". It was actually quite nice because I was alone without Brian and Jude and I had TV. I watched most of breaking bad and some of suits.
I was dispatched yesterday and am currently staying off campus with my mom. I ate straight goy there it was TV dinners and all that shit. I had 2 uncrustables every night I think.
People traced my location and sent EMS and police department to my dorm (like a full squad) and I told them I was suicidal. They then tell me that I'm getting PEC'd and that they had to bring me in, I run away instinctually and then I got tranquilized after they cornered me.
Wake up at hospital and get questioned about my life, don't even know what I said.
Then I wake up in a psych ward in Louisiana (I go to school here). People here have mania, schizophrenia, psychotic symptoms. I am frightened and have to avoid conflict frequently.
I get located to my room which is an all white box, I have 2 room mates called Brian and Jude (Brian has mania and is schizo - he runs around and often mistakes me for someone, Jude just hums on the ground but if you get near his area he tries to grab you.
8 hours a day I'm locked in this fuckass situation and I cry my eyes out, the coroner comes on my third day and asks about me.
I'm literally sleeping when he walks into my room, and later I was able to find my file where he noted that I was isolating myself? I tell him I am no longer suicidal, the meds are great! and I don't want to be here anymore, he notes that me saying I don't want to be here anymore = I don't want to live anymore, not that I want to leave this fuckass facility. So I end up getting CEC'd and they can contain me in this place for 15 days now.
I start trying to find a solution and get access to the phone, which is permitted to us once a day and everybody get's 10 minutes. But there is 30 people there so there are fights over the phone, huge fights.
Jerome is this big ass black dude who always gets the phone, he liked me for whatever reason so he gives it to me after he is done. I call my school and get in contact with my case manager and he tells me that he will try to get me released, (literally did not do a thing).
Now the shower room was like full prison, no dividers. Jerome literally slaps my fucking ass and tells me that I owe him one. I punch this guy in the face and run away to my room and he's pissed. This is day 3 still.
I don't leave my room for the next 2 day's and fast, nurse's are concerned about me but I just don't want to run into Jerome at all. Also Brian kind of acts as a safe guard since he's crazy and is manic, so he deters people away.
Day 5 I meet this dude called Darell who got in a severe 4 wheeler accident, he suffers from acute memory loss now and has this huge dent in his head. He's actually pretty chill and I convince him to larp about his life. I remember details about his life and just let him larp or convince him to over the next 5 hours. He eventually goes to bed but I lock in and remember the things he told me because there is nothing else to do.
I eventually see him after dinner and just start larping to him about his life, he's astonished and is hella tripped out about me. He freaks out for a bit then calms down and just accepts that his life is what it is now. I then stole a marker from the visitation center and wrote down on cross word paper cerebrolysin (cause I thought its neurogenesis properties would benefit him) and gave it to him. I also wrote my phone number down and he kept it in his shoe.
Day 7 I stop taking the meds they gave me (prozac, mirtazapine, trileptal, Haloperidol). Nurse tells me that they will keep me longer because I refused my medications, I also was visited by the treatment team this day with the doctor. I plea my sanity to them and give them collateralls (my friends phone numbers to call, my mom, therapist etc). They seem convinced but ask me why I stopped taking meds. I don't know what to say and the meeting is over.
Afterwards I am given an "herbal tea" specifically for me during meal time. The nurse told me that this was to help me be more calm since she was aware of the whole Jerome situation. I drank it and I'm pretty sure they dissolved all my medications in there.
For the next days I was locked in a "primary room". It was actually quite nice because I was alone without Brian and Jude and I had TV. I watched most of breaking bad and some of suits.
I was dispatched yesterday and am currently staying off campus with my mom. I ate straight goy there it was TV dinners and all that shit. I had 2 uncrustables every night I think.
